Yeah its WAAAY early for a new Journal but this one I have more time to write. So I'm in a butt load of junk right now. Having some issues with friends, no supprise, and more and more issues with my family (ABSOLUTE NO SUPPRISE), got back the results to my accuplacer only to find I did so terrible on the math that there is practicaly NO HOPE for college credit classes for another YEAR(s). Oh and this is not all. 'm working my butt off so much trying to juggle Anime USA, internship hours, my mother's birthday this wendsday and her "Twilight palooza movie watching party" on friday i THANKFULLY get to miss but deal with the "I LOVE TWLIGHT EVEN MORE NOW" freaks of my house. Not to mention I LOSE MY INSURANCE IN JUNE. I have to get a job secure and insurace by then. I'm so screwed cuz I've got too much going on. I want to cry so baly cuz my dad also wants me to start paying him to live at home and he KNOWS that I HAVE TO. I'm going to community college so I have to live where my family does so he's taking advantage of my choice. This isn't the first time he's said this too. He's been saying this for years cuz when I'm no longer an asset to the family I'm "robbing them of money" and he wants me to pay him $75 a week to live in my own house. Uh, NO.

I'm seriously so upset and trying super hard to talk to one of my friends too cuz she's the person I tell things too and she flat out broke her word to talk to me. She fianlly did and ignored me mostly then ignored me and did everything she could to not hear me out. Best part, this happened yesterdat after I WAITED THREE DAYS TO TALK TO HER. You can imagine I'm EXTREEMLY angry cuz she just told me, "I forgive you for saying what you just did" and I told her it was rude to ignor me after breaking her word. Forgive ME?! I think its the otehr way around but I don't think I should after the attitude and crap I got. And all on a shitty week. And this week, ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL CRAP much less like last and the week befor.

Best way to describe the past weekends. Ignored, isloated while around people, left out, tossed asside, ect. Makes me even more angry that I call people friends when all this happens and not once do I get apologies nor do they notice too much when they walk off and I'm not there. I would sit alone somewhere for five to ten minutes till they'd notice, walk over, see I'm upset, then walk off.

OH! So I FAINLLY was going to have my FINAL chance of acting for anything, since I got to only ONCE for Church and my parents and everyone around me never has given me a second chance even though I love it and am told I'm pretty good, as in I'm good enough at it to try to persue or work at it. ANYWAY THAT WAS A TOTAL UNFINIESHED RUN ON SENTENCE. What I meant to say was my final chace is done. I'm bussy the day for my school's one act play try-outs. I don't even get a chance. I could have and made up my extra hours next week for internship but now I cna't cuz its wendsday only, not tomorrow. I just lost one of my last chances to do something I enjoy so much but can't cuz no one has given me a chance. Literally. I show potential but no one wants to throw me a bone! You can ask my friends, I ACT EVERDAY JUST TO SEE REACTIONS AND I'M OKAY AT IT BUT NO ONE CARES! I'm just sick and tired of finding things I'm good at only to never hve another chance at it again. Apparently I'm stuck with working with babies for the rest of my life. Singing, no chour to join or Church things, acting, no Church or school ANYTHING I can participate in. What's left? Babysitting actual babies. That's all I got left for me.